Internet dating.
Heard of it? Yes, yes, I know what you are thinking, only losers, the desperate and those with serious personality malfunctions bother with internet dating. You may well be right. It's a strange little sub-world in there. I really am not sure how to take it. The grain of salt has to be pretty bloody big, doubt I can carry it somedays.
I kind of 'fell' into internet dating. You see - I just decided one day that I wanted to have a little perv at boys. Tragic I know but I bet I'm not the first. So in my little journey through the profiles I stumbled across a young feller with whom I used to work. We got along well when we worked together, or so I thought, until I reconsidered our time together when he disappeared from the site for a while after I tried to contact him... So maybe we never did get along that well. Either that or he freaked out and thought I 'wanted' him. Or there is the distinct possibility that he was just mortified that someone he knew knew he was there! Yeah, I'll take that one - better than rejection.
So from there it went on. It gradually turned from a little dalliance to me putting up a profile.
How amusing. I have become one of those 'losers' and 'desperate'.
Not necessarily so. Let's face it - where the heck do you meet nice boys these days? It seems that the friendship pool of single friends that could be introduced to other single friends has all but dried up. That, or my friends don't want to introduce their friends to me...
Anyway, the initial thril of recieving contact after contact was strong. Very strong. Strange that I have never had that much interest out there in the 'real' world. My curiosity knows no bounds and I relentlessly pored over these profiles and replied to emails.
You'd think it would have stirred something right? That the probability of meeting a nice young blerk would have been quite high right? Well...
It seems the negatives of internet dating are overwhelming. I don't even know where to start with that. But I can probably summarise a few of them for now.
1. Rejection. Hoo boy. What a doozy. I don't think that I will ever be good with rejection. Even when you take that step to contact someone and the neat packaged little rejection that you recieve is simply only chosen from a form list it still hurts a bit. Or it could just be me. So from that to actually meeting someone...scary.
2. Outlines. People can tend to be very thorough with their expectations of a woman - or a man I guess too - and sometimes what they put out there is fairly full on. I find that I get quite introspective when I read the many must be's. Must be easy going, must be fit, must be outgoing, must be without emotional baggage, must be small of the arse...
Well. It just forces you to wonder if you are or if you aren't and then either way is it a bad thing or a good thing and what can be done or not done and and.... Basically I just find that I think too much and that trying to pin point what you do or do not want in a person is a little ludicrous and rather unrealistic. If you meet someone and you feel something I bet you aren't thinking about whether they recycle or not.